Goodbye 2018, and thank you.

Written on Dec. 30, 2018:

This year has gone by insanely fast. This was the first year in three years that I was not in a long-term relationship. I entered 2018 on my own (with lots of love and support). I learned independence, although it hadn’t really gone anywhere and really I just needed to be reminded of it. I am amazed that I have so much love surrounding me.

It was a hard year in terms of learning lessons, dealing with my mental health, and continually learning how to let go of things that are not healthy and do not bring joy.

But here we are, two days away from a new year again. I’m entering this year even with just a better vantage point than the last. Not being literally days out from a really emotional breakup I feel as if I have a little leg up on myself from this time last year. 😉

I am excited for what the next year brings. I am also tired and apathetic at times, because that is what depression can do. Either way, in this moment im choosing to focus on the joy.

I’m not going to do “New Year’s Resolutions” because those never really work out. I am continually trying to better myself, however. I want to try new forms of exercise to be healthy. Eat more consistently. Practice my hobbies way more often. Be gracious towards myself and others. I have a desire to be like Jesus (not who people who have twisted him into to fit their own agenda but what he practiced) a.k.a. LOVE. Serve more. Think of myself less. When I do think of myself, do so kindly. Take care of me. Be strong and quick-witted. Practice RAK (random acts of kindness) as often as possible. Compliment others. Find passions. Be in love, be loved, be love. Be healthy: mind, body, and spirit.


So goodbye to one year of growth. I am hoping to usher in another year of growth, but hoping that this one will be motivated by happiness and love. Wishing you all JOY in 2019!

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First dates.

A few nights ago I went on a date. A first date, to be specific. The last time I went on a first date was almost four years ago now.

Three of those years were spent in a long term relationship (a story for another time); the other year-ish has been spent figuring out how to be me again. I learned a lot in those three years, but it all could be considered almost nothing when compared to this year after. I did not know what it would feel like to be a year out from the end of such a significant relationship at that point in my life.

It is good. I am happy, and know I am loved as well as have plenty of love to give. If you would’ve asked me at certain points during those three years, I might not have been able to give that complete answer.

It feels fun to get back out there, but also a little strange to be back in this place that at one point in time I thought I might never experience with anyone new again. Alas, the story changes, thankfully, for the better.

Here’s to being in new places with new people. Places that are fun, exciting, a little uncomfortable, nerve-inducing, and also overall temporary. It’s time to enjoy every season of life.